Memories

Saying Goodbye to Penny

On Wednesday, November 12, 2025, the United States minted its last penny—and my Penny took her last breath.

Penny, in her foster home before I adopted her. The rescue called her “Miss Punctuation.”

I never planned to adopt a chihuahua. I went to the rescue event to ask about a poodle. I’d had poodles and poodle mixes my whole life. I wanted Duncan to have a companion, and the rescue had a female mini poodle that I thought would be perfect. My place in line was next to a pen with one of their adoptable dogs: a tan chihuahua mix named “Miss Punctuation.” As I stood there, Miss Punctuation came over and nudged my hand with her head so I’d pet her. The rescue person noticed and said, “She’s never like that with anyone.” I shrugged off the comment. After all, I wanted a poodle, not a chihuahua.

The poodle girl did a home visit, and Duncan soundly rejected her. Only then did I think about the rescue person’s comment. I went to the rescue’s next event and this time, hung out with Miss Punctuation. At one point, I held her. While in my arms, she snapped at anyone else who tried to pet her. She wanted everyone to know that I was her person.

She came for a home visit. She walked in, peed on all four corners of my living room rug, jumped up on the sofa, and declared herself at home. Duncan ignored her. A week later, she officially became mine. I renamed her Penny.

Penny taught Duncan how to beg.

Penny and Duncan had an odd relationship. They moved in separate orbits at home, but clung to each other at day care and in boarding. She tried to engage him in play; he had no interest. Still, she helped draw him out of his shell and taught him how to dog.

When Duncan died last year, Penny took it on herself to console me. She stayed close to me, engaged with me, led me on walks along new paths. She also reveled in finally being an only dog.

She was not happy when I brought home Ozzie. She made it clear that this was her house, but eventually, we reached a point of reluctant tolerance.

Penny had OPINIONS, and she was not shy about sharing them.

Through it all, Penny had a larger than life personality. She was the most expressive dog I’ve ever known. Duncan was a dog who took up no space. Penny, on the other hand, filled every nook and cranny. I used to describe her as being “bigger on the inside,” as eight hundred pounds of sass in an eight pound body. There was never any question about how she felt. She made sure you knew.

She loved walks and claimed every yard in our subdivision. She had a preferred routine for checking and refreshing her marks, too. And God help any other dog that dared exist in her territory. Same for the local wildlife. She chased every squirrel she encountered. She even tried to start something with two Canada geese in our front yard. It took years, but I finally trained her to accept that other dogs did, in fact, have a right to walk on the same streets she did and to exist in their own homes—even her sworn enemies, the weimaraners down the street. I was not as successful with the wildlife.

Penny hated cold weather—cold meaning anything below 70°F—and over her short life, she accumulated an impressive collection of sweaters, sweatshirts, and jackets. She burrowed under blankets, even when it was 85°F and humid outside. She toasted in sun spots. (She was a chihuahua, and everyone knows chihuahuas are solar powered.) She was a heat-seeking missile, and her favorite place to warm up was my lap.

Penny’s favorite place was on or next to me.

She was terrified of thunderstorms and fireworks. Any loud boom noises, actually. She once had a meltdown because my neighbor slammed their car door shut. Her fear got worse as she got older. Enter a Happy Hoodie and a Thundershirt. Eventually, that wasn’t enough. A couple of years ago, when she started trying to bark the thunder and fireworks away, I brought her to the vet and said, “Either she gets medicated or I do.” (She did.)

I called her “Miss Penny,” “Baby,” and “MA’AM,” and I thought she’d be with me into my own old age. After all, chihuahuas are long-lived dogs—often living into their late teens and sometimes twenties. When I adopted Penny, she was a year, maybe year-and-a-half, old. I figured we’d have close to two decades together.

Life had other plans.

On Wednesday night, Penny had a seizure. It came out of nowhere, and it was terrifying—for both of us. Then she had another one. I rushed her to the emergency vet. She had a third seizure as the vet examined her. He listened to her heart and said, “She’s dying.”

I was not prepared for those words. Penny had seen her regular vet a month before. There was no indication then that anything was wrong with her.

Penny (2016–2025)

The emergency vet managed to stabilize her, so we could talk about her situation. It was heartbreakingly clear that there was only one option: saying goodbye.

I cried. I pet her. I told her I loved her. I told her I would keep my promise to take care of her and make her all better, just not the way I had expected. She leaned over and touched her nose to mine. I’d like to think she was saying, “Thank you.”

Minutes later, it was over. A few hours after her first seizure, she was gone.

It’s going to take me a while to grapple with what happened and with the giant hole that small dog left in my life.

I hope that someday she’ll find her way back to me.


If you would like to do something to honor Penny, please make a donation to Young at Heart Senior Pet Adoptions or another rescue near you.

Eight Years Ago

Eight years ago, I spent Inauguration Day working on a short story. It was the first round of the 2017 NYC Midnight Short Story Challenge, and I was struggling mightily. I had a week to write a 2,500-word story—a story I could not find.

I was assigned Romance as my genre, but I couldn’t find any romance in my soul. I was angry, fuming about the new president. I didn’t want write happy ever after. I didn’t want to write happy of any kind at all. I wanted to write sad, mad, dark, spooky, scary—anything that wasn’t happy.

Eventually, I pulled together a 1600-word story about a middle aged woman who finds romance on her daily commute. I sent it in certain that my challenge was over. The story was too short, I told myself. It doesn’t have enough romance. It was too blah. It wasn’t my best work. Oh, well. There’s always next year.

A few months later, the results were announced. Much to my surprise, the judges liked my story, and I advanced to the next round. That next round is when I wrote the short story that eventually became my novella Greeks Bearing Gifts.

And that first story? You can read the competition version here. After the contest, I polished it, and it became the first short story I ever sold. You can find it in Smoking Pen Press’s anthology A Wink and a Smile (also available as an ebook and an audio book).

Since 2017, I’ve only participated in the NYC Short Story Challenge twice. I didn’t do very well either time, but I signed up again this year. The contest starts at the end of the week, and just like eight years ago, I want to write anything but happy.

Duncan

Today would have been Duncan’s 16th birthday. When I adopted him in 2016, I asked him to give me eight years. He gave me eight years and two months.

Duncan passed away suddenly and unexpectedly on May 26th. He collapsed and was gone in minutes. I was not prepared.

The very first picture I took of Duncan, on the night I brought him home

He had seen the vet a month before. She raved about what good shape he was in for his age (15 1/2). I expected to have a few years left with him, not a few weeks.

Duncan was not a dog that demanded a lot. He never demanded anything. All he wanted to was to sit in a soft place and have a clear view of me. He was gentle and quiet. An introvert to the core.

He was never interested in toys or play. Walks were tolerated, but he would have happily lived without them. He loved snow. He played in autumn leaves. He loved storms and would watch them through the window in fascination. He would never snuggle with me unless I was asleep.

The last picture I ever took of Duncan, on the day before he died

One of the things I loved most about him were his wonky ears. His ears were not symmetrical on his head, nor were they the same size and shape. They drove groomers nuts. As he got older, he had a tendency to keep one ear down and one ear up—even when he was sleeping.

Not that he could hear anything with that upright ear. Duncan was deaf for the last years of his life. Even when he could hear, he was not any kind of guard dog. The only time he ever barked was in his sleep. Awake, he just watched the world move around him.

He was the sweetest old man dog I ever had, and I miss him daily.



If you would like to do something in Duncan’s honor, please consider a donation to Young at Heart Senior Pet Adoptions or a rescue in your community.